


Fragile Hope

by sharingoxygenwithyou



Series: Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: The White Queen (TV)
Genre: F/M, Miscarriage, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 00:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11886024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharingoxygenwithyou/pseuds/sharingoxygenwithyou
Summary: If she were to go out, she could feel the warm sun and cool breeze on her skin, but she supposed those little blessings from God weren't enough to make up for his cruel punishment. Because that was what she called it. Punishment. Retribution for her actions all those years ago.





	Fragile Hope

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt Richard/Anne: Anne recovering a traumatic childbirth where her baby died in womb. Richard is comforting her and making her realize how much he loves her and how much she meant to him.

The chamber was dark. It was midday yet the sunlight couldn't enter the bedchamber because of the curtains. Not a single candle lit. The bedchamber gave away more than her current state. If she were to go out, she could feel the warm sun and cool breeze on her skin, but she supposed those little blessings from God weren't enough to make up for his cruel punishment. Because that was what she called it. Punishment. Retribution for her actions all those years ago.

As a child, the darkness worried Anne, not being able to see her surroundings lit her imagination with monsters and vicious creatures lurking in the dark, but now, languishing in the darkness of her chamber, she realized that she didn't want to see the sun. She didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted to be alone.

"Anne?" The warm tone of her husband's voice should have relaxed her - as it always had - but no, not today. Anne made no move of acknowledgment, just a sound from the back of her throat as Richard made his way to the hearth and started a fire. Feeding two logs to the fire, watching as the flames ate up the brittle wood.

It was ten weeks after the midwife confirmed that she was with child. She felt nauseous but both the physician and midwife told her that morning sickness would occur over the course of her pregnancy, yet Anne still felt worried. Anne lost her appetite that day. Everything that came near her nose made her vomit, even just the sight of food made her sick. Her emotions seemed to be magnified and it was getting harder to keep the unpleasant ones at bay. She nearly bit off the head of one of her ladies-in-waiting. She supposed it was due to the babe in her womb.

It happened quickly. Unexpectedly. She was in bed with Richard when it happened. He had his arms around her protectively when a sharp pain made her body shiver and shake. The pain in her stomach was too much that she shrieked so loudly that Richard woke with a start. He noticed the blood around them and instantly summoned the physician and midwife but both knew what was happening. They had lost their child.

It was four weeks after that night and Anne has been suffering from the trauma mentally since then, every single moment of it seared into her brain. Her brain felt as if it was moving through a fog and nothing made sense. What could possibly warrant God to take her child away from her?

Anne prayed that it was only a nightmare, a dream she would soon wake up from but here she was now. Alone in her bedchamber, but of course she wasn't alone. Richard was beside her on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, whispering reassuring words to her but it doesn't help. Nothing does.

A maid entered the dark chamber and Richard stood to speak with her. Anne didn't need to strain to hear the conversation.

"How is she?" Of course, he wouldn't know. Immediately after that night, Richard was summoned to court. Anne almost wanted to laugh, a bitter laugh.

  
"She hasn't eaten anything in days, my Lord." The maid answered, almost like a whisper. “We didn’t know what to do. She wouldn't speak to us."

  
Richard gave her a nod before dismissing her with a wave. The maid gave a small bow before exiting the chamber. Leaving the two alone.

He made his way to the bed again, this time kneeling at the side, taking a hold of her cold hands. When he spoke, his voice trembled. "Anne, please."

She didn't look at him, just continued to look into space. He looked at her face and noticed how pale she looked, how sunken her face has become.

"Anne, you need to eat." His words are soft and pleading. "And sleep."

"I can't close my eyes without seeing it." Her voice was small and weak and hoarse from all the crying she has done. She couldn't close her eyes without remembering the blood, remembering the way the physician had to use different tools that seemed like torture devices to her, to help her remove the dead baby from her womb and she couldn't close her eyes without seeing the small bundle of flesh covered in blood being discarded the maids. That was her child. And he was gone.

"I'm so sorry," He took her hand and kissed each knuckle before placing it on his cheek, sharing some warmth with her freezing body.

"You left me!" Her tone was accusing and it finally dawned on Richard how his absence affected her. He was a fool to think to deny her the comfort he could have given her during those times.

"Anne -"

"I feel like I'm sleep walking and I don't know how to wake up."

“We’ll try again,” He said. “It’s not over yet. We'll have others.”

"Don't you see?" She finally turned to look at him with bloodshot eyes. "I failed you. I've disappointed you. I lost your child."

That seemed to stir something in Richard because he cupped her cheeks, gently closing the distance between their faces until their foreheads touched and she could feel his breath on her when he spoke.

"You haven't failed me," The tenderness in his voice tugged at her heartstrings. "You can never disappoint me, Anne."

"But the baby -"

"There will be others."

"And if I can't -?" She couldn't muster the will to say what was on her mind since that night because just the thought of not bearing her Richard any children gave a slight ache to her heart. She so wanted to bless this world with a new child that would have Richard's dark curls and green eyes and her complexion.

"I do not care." His words surprised her and it made her mouth open slightly. "I love you, Anne." It's a declaration. No question about it. "And I don't make love to you because I want a child. I want a child with you because I love you."

"You need an heir."

"I need you!" He kissed her forehead, both of her cheeks, her nose and finally her lips. Anne doesn't protest because, in truth, she missed his kisses and gentle touches. "This doesn't change any of that! I would love you even if we never had a child…”

Anne was mortified at his words and she almost screamed, "Don't say such words!"

"It's the truth," He replied, finally letting go of her face and holding her in his arms. She adjusted, making room for him on the bed, their bed that has been cold since that night. “I will love you regardless of whether or not you can give us a large family. It does not matter to me, as long as I have you."

The pulse of grief still beat somewhere deep inside her, but for the moment her pain felt relieved. Maybe it was his words or his touch but Anne allowed him to hold her tight. She relished the feel of being back in her husband’s arms. And she allowed herself to finally close her eyes and let the tiredness consume her until she was finally asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: sharingoxygenwithyou.tumblr.com


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